I was only
eleven years old when I was given the worst news of my life, although I still
lacked the proper mental maturity to be aware of it.
My mother
had died in an accident, when the bicycle that took her every day to open the
doors of her flower shop in the city centre was brutally rammed by the Range
Rover Evoque of a driver intoxicated by the treacherous favours of alcohol and
drugs who, of course, ran away.
My father's
mind, seized by the shadow of the sinister one and whipped by the impossibility
of forgiving the murderer of his soul mate, decided that the most sensible
thing would be to run away as far as possible, forgetting that love story with
such a tragic ending and the fruit of it: myself.
So it was
my paternal grandmother, the charitable soul, who decided to take care of me.
I crossed
the threshold of the large dark oak door that crowned the entrance to her huge
house in the mountains. The bright colours of the stained glass window that
adorned its centre contrasted with the black colour of the wood.
The house
was practically isolated, being an hour away from the nearest town, limiting
its company to the wild nature and protected by the celestial vault.
My
grandmother was cheerful, funny and friendly. I, in contrast, was shy, quiet
and so introverted. My mother's death plunged me into a strange macabre dream
that accompanied me both day and night, and the feeling of unreality became a
shadow that accompanied me when I woke up and seemed to give me a break when I
went to sleep.
The day
after I arrived at the house, my grandmother kindly asked me to help her clean
the pool, claiming that the summer season was approaching, thus trying to
distract my mind and help me return to my childhood soul, which seemed to have
been reduced to ashes.
That first
week was spent adapting to my new home. We adapted the pool, helped my
grandmother to cook and clean, read some chapters of "The Five and the
Treasure of the Island", watched movies, ate popcorn and went down to the
village to do the shopping. Really, I was happy with her and she was happy with
me, for her every word was enveloped by an intoxicating aura of affection. We
were building the foundation of a small but happy family.
The second
week, he gave me a soccer ball and I decided to go outside and play with it for
a while.
I was
skirting the house, absorbed in the movement of my feet as the ball passed from
one foot to the other, when I saw the door.
Located on
the back façade, it had been painted the same color as the wall, making it
difficult to see with the naked eye.
Of course,
my curiosity dragged me like a magnet there and I lifted the small bolt that
kept it sealed. A few steps down the stairs welcomed me when I opened the door.
I peered out, trying to catch a glimpse of something in the darkness which
increased the further down I tried to take my sight. I looked for a switch
which I soon found, and a "click" turned on a light bulb which hung
down the middle of the stairs.
I started
to go down slowly. The steps creaked with every step I took, as if they were
crying out in ungrateful welcome. But that dismal sound of crunching wood did
not dampen my insatiable curiosity to find out what was under the floor of my
grandmother's house at the end of that curious uneven passage. I felt like the
hero going into a dangerous cave, looking for a treasure hidden by some lame, bearded
pirate.
When I got
to the bottom, I could see that a corridor continued where there were several
boxes piled up on the right, while on the left only a metal door could be seen.
I took a look at the boxes and saw that they contained only tins and cans of
preserves, sacks of flour and corn, and the odd bottle of wine.
My
disappointment came when I saw that there was nothing of interest in that
hidden cellar. And then I fixed my gaze on that door. I approached and grabbed
the handle, but when I tried to open it I couldn't, it was completely locked
from the outside. I banged on the door with my fist a couple of times and only
the echo answered me.
The
impending question of why Grandma would have taken so many precautions with the
safety of that room stuck in my mind, of course, but the reasoning that one can
have at eleven years of age brought me back to reality. "More food,"
I thought, remembering that Grandma only went down to shop once in a while, and
she stored a lot of it to avoid unnecessary trips.
She would
probably lock it up to protect it in case of thieves or even animals.
I decided
to get out of there and look for my grandmother to clear up that doubt. I had
already placed my right foot on the first step when a screeching noise startled
me.
It sounded
like someone or something dragged a piece of furniture behind that door into
the room. I just stood there at the bottom of the stairs, not turning around. I
waited a few thousandths of a second for such a noise to be repeated, but it
did not happen. I turned on my heels and crept to the door. I waited. I heard
nothing but the singing of the birds outside. I put my left ear to the door.
Nothing. I looked at my feet. A faint yellowish light was streaming under the
door. I decided to bend down and look underneath. I had just rested my left
knee on the floor when something small rolled out of the room, under the door
and collided with my slipper. I felt my heart racing in my chest as I jumped
backwards, bumping into the boxes. I looked, I'll never know if out of
curiosity or instinct, down to see what had rolled into me.
It was a
small pebble.
I ran up
the stairs in a panic.
When I told
my grandmother what had happened in that strange basement discovered by chance,
she answered with a loud laugh and blamed the disturbing event on rats or even
a ferret that had snuck in. Regarding the contents of the room, he didn't give
me many details, he simply assured me that it was a storage room where there
were antiques that he was thinking of selling to some collector on the
Internet.
—I like to
lock it up— she said, —because I wouldn't like to have my stuff stolen. I know
some of that furniture has value.
The next
morning, an emerging adventurous spirit that I had not known before forced me
to go down those stairs again. To my surprise, I found the outer door slammed
shut from the outside. I pulled on it with all my might and forced the knob
several times, but there was no success. I gave up and decided to forget all
about it by taking a bath in the pool.
The same
day, after eating, I helped Grandma clear the table and went up to my room to
rest for a while. I fell asleep and I don't know what time it was when a sound
outside woke me up. I looked out the window and saw Grandma pass by with a
couple of bags. I watched her until she turned the corner of the house and then
I ran down the hall, where another small oval window looked out just where she
should be passing by at that moment. When I looked out, I saw her standing
right underneath. She had left her bags on the floor and was looking for
something in her trouser pocket.
She took
out a key and put it in the lock of the camouflaged door which, although I
could not see it from my position, I knew was just below the window from which
I stood, lurking like a vulture.
The lock
gave way, grandmother opened the door, took the bags and went in, closing
behind her. I heard the slight sound of the old wood creaking as I descended
those stairs, until at last it was camouflaged by the noise outside.
There was
really nothing interesting in that gesture. I assumed that the contents of the
bags would be more food to store in the boxes, yet the uncertainty wrapped
itself around my neck like a snake. I needed to open that metal door.
That night,
as Grandmother slept, I slipped like a ninja into her room and stuck my thin
fingers into the pockets of the trousers I had worn that day, now inert on the
chair in front of the dressing table. There was the key! But no matter how hard
I looked, I could not find the one that would open the metal door. I decided to
cease my search and leave the room, for Grandmother would wake up if she
continued to make noise, rummaging through her things.
I went
outside. The cool night air from the mountain flooded my lungs. The song of the
crickets included a perfect melodic composition for that landscape before my
eyes. The wind swayed the branches of the trees gently, and at the top the full
moon gave me enough visibility to walk without using a flashlight. It was
summer, but the temperature there was low enough to make the hair on my arms
stand on end. I stride around the house and reach the door. I put the key in
the lock and could open it without any difficulty.
I preferred
not to give the light in case grandmother got up and saw her from a window.
I walked
slowly down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible.
There were
still the boxes piled up on the right and the metal door, which was locked
tightly.
I moved my
face closer to the door and glued my ear. Nothing. I raised my right fist and
tapped the metal three times. There was no immediate response. After a few
seconds, however, something moved inside the room.
I clearly
heard the sound of the springs of a bed base and how someone was standing on
the mattress and putting their bare feet on the wooden floor.
It was
clear that someone was there.
I waited
with my ear still on the door. Whoever was on the other side hesitated for a
few moments, probably sitting on the mattress, and then finally got up and
started shuffling to the door.
I took a
couple of steps away. My heart was pounding.
There was
someone right behind that door, just a few inches away from me. He stood motionless,
as if waiting for me to take the first step.
—Hello...? —I
whispered in a trembling voice.
No one
answered. This being was still there, unmoved. I knew for certain that it was
standing behind the door, for I had not heard it move again. I decided to
insist.
—Who are
you and what are you doing locked up in there?
Again, my
question was left up in the air. I advanced very slowly to the door and put my
ear back on the cold metal. I concentrated as much as I could, trying to ignore
the outside sound of the crickets and the swaying of the tree branches. I could
not hear anything coming from the other side... until, seconds later, something
activated my senses.
Air, coming
and going. Someone was breathing behind the door. But it was abnormal
breathing, like a gasp. It became more and more audible, more and more intense.
It seemed to be getting closer to the place where my face was stuck. I could
clearly hear that breathing on the other side of the metal, at the level of my
ear, it was very intermittent. The sound was very similar to that of a dog
sniffing... was it trying to smell me?
Then a
groaning bronco behind the door frightened me so much that I jumped backwards
and stood by the boxes. I bent down and put my arms around my legs, crying with
fear. The man or woman behind the door, who seemed to have identified me as an
intruder by the smell of my body, began to utter a symphony of agonizing howls,
similar to the cry of someone undergoing horrible torture. He pounded hard on
the door several times with his fists. My heart was pounding with each of those
blows against the metal. He grabbed the handle and began to move it sharply, up
and down, pushing the door with the weight of his whole body. Fortunately for
me, he didn't give in.
I was still
petrified in the same position, cowering above myself, under the cover of the
boxes. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and I felt my pants getting wet, right
in the crotch.
Somehow, I
managed to awake from that sporadic trance which terror had caused in my brain,
and I rose quickly to my feet, hitting one of the boxes with my elbow in the
process.
A sack fell
from the top of the pile of boxes, opening up and letting a pile of pebbles
flow out of it. The whole floor was covered with those little pebbles. I ran up
the stairs like a devil's soul, while behind the door it continued to tear its
throat out with every scream.
I didn't
stop running until I reached my room, where I got into bed crying my eyes out
and shaking with fear. I saw a light come on in the corridor, followed by some
light steps that went up the stairs. Grandma went downstairs. She probably
would have heard those awful screams coming from the basement and was heading
there.
I closed my
eyes and struggled to fall into a deep sleep from which I could not wake up
until the next morning.
Grandmother
gently woke me up. It was cloudy and hardly any light came through my bedroom
window. It took me a few seconds to react, remembering what I had experienced
that night.
—Grandma! —I
exclaimed. —Who's down there?
She looked
down at her hands, which rested on her lap.
—Don't
worry about that, son—she said with a small smile, —it's nothing to worry
about, but you'd better not go near it again.
—Grandma,
don't say that. Whatever it is, it must be dangerous. It scares me. I think, if
I'd managed to open the door last night, I would have hurt myself without hesitation...
The tears
come to my eyes. The memory of that terrifying pack of screams and blows on the
metal made my blood run cold.
—Nothing
will happen if you stay away, really...— she insisted in despair.
—Grandma, I
can't live here with that under the house! What is it? A wild animal or a
lunatic?
The woman
put her hands to her mouth and began to sob.
—I'm afraid
—she said at last, —that what's underneath is both, dear.
I felt my
heart turn over. I was speechless. My mind was unable to come up with a logical
theory to justify Grandma locking a monster in the basement...
She got up
and went to her room. She returned immediately with a red folder in her hand.
She sat down next to me and opened it, showing me a series of papers that she
kept inside.
—The one
downstairs— she began, —is my son Gabriel, your father's older brother.
I watched
her in total bewilderment.
—He has a
severe disorder of schizophrenia and bipolarity. Ten years ago, there was a...
mistake. He has always been with me at home, I have taken care of him since he
was born, because his illness prevents him from being independent. I had to go
to Madrid for work and left him in the care of a nurse for a couple of days.
However, Gabriel is very selective with people and does not allow anyone to
come near him... She tried to give him his medication and he... attacked her —she
started crying inconsolably. —He stuck his fingers in her eyes so hard that he
took them out, left her eye sockets empty... He could have killed her. She
groped away, screaming in terror, and the neighbours came to her aid. After
that, Gabriel was condemned to spend the rest of his life in a psychiatric
facility, but I refused. I couldn't let my son end up locked up for life. I
thought I could take care of him... And then I claimed he had run away. I hid
him at a good friend's house and after a few months I moved in with him.
Everyone thinks he's missing, including your father.
I was
shaking. I felt like I was part of a horror movie.
—Come with
me. If you come down with me, he won't be scared. He's not going to hurt you.
Let me show you that our life can go on as well as it has. He won't bother us.
He stood up
and pulled my hand. I, who at that moment felt more like an automaton than a
human, gave in. She guided me down and when I started to be aware of reality,
we were already by the camouflaged door.
—Grandma! —I
shouted, pulling back.
—Trust me! —she
pleaded. —He won't hurt you!
Although I
was terrified, something in me urged me to follow her. At last I would see that
room that was attracting my attention.
And I
followed her downstairs.
She tried
to make as little noise as possible and I imitated her. We stood in front of
the metal door. I hid behind my grandmother. She pulled out a chain around her
neck, which she hid behind her clothes, from which the key hung. He put it in
the lock and turned it.
She slowly
pressed the handle down and the door began to open in front of me. Something
hit the bottom edge of the door and squeaked a little. I soon realized what it
was. The whole floor was dotted with pebbles, small and white. The room was
dark, only a small lamp illuminated the room. A stinking smell hit me right in
the nose.
There was
no other furniture than a bed in the corner, a small table where the lamp
rested and a chamber pot, all tucked away between four white, padded walls.
And, on the
bed, that individual remained seated. He wore green pyjamas and was completely
absorbed in something he held in his hands. Grandma came over and I stood in
the doorway.
She put one
hand on his shoulder and he reacted suddenly, letting go of what he was
handling. Then I saw that what had just rushed out of his hands was more
pebbles.
—It's his
greatest entertainment— explained grandmother as if she had read my thoughts, —I
bring them to him from the river. He tells them over and over again...
That's when
she told him about me.
—That boy
is Juan José... he's very good and he's your nephew...
And he
turned his head abruptly, staring at me with his alienated gaze. His eyes were
disproportionately large, and so prominent that they seemed to be about to pop
out of their sockets. His face, furrowed with remarkable wrinkles, was thin,
with protruding cheekbones. His nose was aquiline and his mouth had horrible
yellowish deformed teeth. He stood up, not taking his terrible gaze off me. He
was thin, to the point of touching anorexia. He began to move towards my
position. I stepped back. Grandma put her hand on his shoulder trying to stop
him.
—Be
careful, Gabriel, he's very young. Don't scare him!
That sick
man's eyes seemed to light up with every step he took towards me. A strange
shadow of fury crossed his face. He was going to kill me, I thought.
Grandmother
was frightened and quickly stood in front of him.
—NO! —she
shouted.
And that's
when it happened.
He grabbed
her by the neck so hard that she lost consciousness and fell to the ground. He
took the lamp and started hitting her on the head. One, two, three, four, five
times. The blood splashed on the white walls. I saw her shattered skull and
viscera on the floor.
And I,
crying and almost convulsing, grabbed the door and closed it, leaving that
terrible scene inside. I didn't have the key, so I just ran upstairs and locked
that one too. I ran inside the house and looked for Grandma's phone. I hid in
the bathroom, since it was the only room with a lock, and I dialled the number
of the police.
They told
me that they were coming from the village, an hour away, and would try to be as
quick as possible.
That hour
was the worst of my life, the longest.
I heard
footsteps clumsily climbing up the stairs. It was him. He was looking for me.
I said all
the prayers I knew. I covered my ears, crouched between the toilet and the
bathtub, trying to pace my breathing to make as little noise as possible.
He made his
way to the bathroom door. I could see his shadow underneath. He tried to turn
the knob.
I could
hear his hoarse panting on the other side. I started to cry. I was short of
breath.
New
footsteps were heard downstairs. They rushed up the stairs.
—Hey! —shouted
a male voice. —Turn around and put your hands up!
But the
individual did not seem to hear. He was still determined to open the door
behind which I was hiding.
—Hey! —insisted
another female voice.
I heard the
footsteps approaching. One of the policemen had approached him and I supposed
he had tried to grab him because the brainless man had started screaming like
mad and there was a great struggle outside. The policeman let out a piercing
scream.
—You shot! —he
shouted to his partner, —KILL THIS BASTARD!
And a loud
shot deafened me.
The one who
had been my uncle died that day from a shot in the head. The screaming
policeman had lost an ear, for he had bitten it off. They took me away from
there and that horrible nightmare ended.
My father
came back for me when he heard what had happened.
Yet even
today, thirty years later, I still go to a psychiatrist every week because I
keep seeing those white pebbles in that wretched room in my worst nightmares.